Sitting on a dilapidated wooden bench under the mellow rays of the sun, my eyes briefly wandered over the view of the rustling leaves and the hasty people passing swiftly by, until I spotted a familiar figure. She was an old classmate of mine from elementary school, a person I had always held in high regard for her amiable, benevolent personality. The innumerable memories of back then surged like a tide while I was hopelessly struggling to remember what her name was. Could it have been Mary? No, perhaps it was Jane, or maybe Julia...That was when it occurred to me, that someone I used to see every day, our indelible past and shared joy was now nothing more than a distant memory adrift in the inexorable, endless flow of time. Was this how things are going to turn out, regardless? Having to say goodbye and accept separation?
The end of an important period of my life approaches rapidly, the ardently desired, yet dreaded step into adult life, staying in a different city in university and the idea of leaving my life behind took a toll on me. While I am excited about finishing high school, I can’t help but feel like that would imply having to let go of people and a part of myself I am not willing to.
I vividly remember those days in 5th grade when I knew no one in the entire school, the exhilarating feeling of receiving your first well deserved grade and getting to know so many amazing people. Many things have changed since then. Throughout these years, my views, attitudes and behaviors have been meticulously shaped by everything surrounding me, and for the better, I would like to believe.
Perhaps the most indispensable quality I have acquired is self-discipline and the desire to learn for your own knowledge. It is vital to be able to improve as a desire to become better, for your own approval instead of someone else’s, be it teachers or parents. This quality reflects later in life and it leads to consistence and diligence in any domain.
Although I have always been a person who doesn’t give up easily, this attitude developed further through academic challenges as well as extracurricular activities, mostly in high school. Individual struggle means a lot to the development of one’s character and to me, solving problems felt like an encouragement to think outside of the box and receive a sense of satisfaction upon finding the right answer. Moreover, extracurricular activities, such as late afternoons playing sports with friends allowed me to discover an interest in sports, I never knew I had and allowed me to always strive to push my limits further. Overall, being a part of an academic institution helped me develop as a person and as a member of society, but I would be lying if I said that I have no regrets.
That person I didn’t speak to not to seem pestilent, the contests I didn’t join out of the fear of failure fawning over me, and many other instances caused me to feel sorrowful. At times life felt like a game that could never be won, a constant repetition of trial and failure, but isn’t that the beauty of it? Your mistakes make you who you are, and through it all, you get to know yourself better and better. The thought of finally becoming a med student doubtlessly makes my spirits soar and there are many things I want to take on after the entrance exams, such as playing an instrument and dedicating more time to painting and sculpting.
Ultimately, everything surrounding you shapes who you are to some extent and I feel bottomless sorrow upon the thought of imminent change, yet the only thing you can do is embrace change as an inseparable part of life. Family and friends will always be there for you be it 10- or 10.000-kilometers away. After all, just like a good book you can always come back to, you can always recall the beautiful things that brought you where you are as they are an extricable part of you.
Oana Stan XII A
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